Always internally screaming

Ideal number of teeth?

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 19:13:18 -0400

as many as i can get my hands on

Photo

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 15:13:20 -0400

breefolk-hates-staff: que-mystery: v171: One time I was playing the sims and I wanted to make me...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 15:12:22 -0400

que-mystery:

v171:

One time I was playing the sims and I wanted to make me and mike but I wanted to make us separately and have us meet. But when I moved into my house, I had this sexy ass neighbor. I figured I could have a fling with him and break it off and get with Mike later but then the neighbors kid got attached to me and I couldn’t just end it when I was so close to his daughter. I really cared about him too.

So the only thing I could do was have it end in tragedy. That way I wouldn’t have to break up with the guy and I could adopt his daughter to stay close to her. He passed away peacefully on fire in the kitchen. Now in previous games, when a kid is taken away by CPS, the next kid you adopt is the same kid. Welp that didn’t carry over into sims 4 so the daughter ended up being taken away and erased from the game by the great sims deity.

I’m a sentimental man, so I kept neighbor mans tombstone around. I’d occasionally chat with his ghost, but he seemed cold to me. I can’t help but thinking he was a bit mad his daughter no longer existed. But this escalated once I started seeing Mike. His ethereal visits became more frequent and more hostile, usually breaking my electronics or creating a mess. But he went overboard when he started the fire.

Being a sim the died in a fire, his ghost had certain abilities specific to his death (setting fires). He got pissed because I kissed Mike so he set my couch on fire that ended up barricading us in the bedroom. Now I couldn’t find the fire alarm in buy mode and I hadn’t had the foresight to predict my spiteful ghost died-in-a-fire ex boyfriend would be an afterlife arsonist to care about it that much so a lot of the house had burned by the time I could get the FD there.

After having almost nothing covered by insurance (thanks Obama), Mike sat me down to have a talk with me. While I couldn’t understand him, I imagine he said “What the fuck you need to deal with your crazy ass ex boyfriend ghost. This never would have happened if you weren’t a thirst little sim bitch and dated me first.”

I approached the grave. It was time to release him. He was waiting for me. He knew this was the end. That after this, there was no coming back from the afterlife. I know he tried to kill me, and he knows I got his daughter deleted, but at that moment, it was just like old times. Telling each other jokes 27 times in a row until he would have sex with me.

We had a final ghostly embrace and he was gone. I sold his tombstone for 300 bucks and bought a microwave.

I enjoyed this more than the last season of AHS

“He died peacefully on fire in the kitchen.”

zsnes: fruitsoftheweb: 4968 dancing dudes on Stanford...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 15:10:04 -0400

zsnes:

fruitsoftheweb:

4968 dancing dudes on Stanford bunny

party at my place fellas

bball1997: starwarsgraphictee: alexander: mercedesbenzodiazep...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 15:07:26 -0400

bball1997:

starwarsgraphictee:

alexander:

mercedesbenzodiazepine:

cumbursted:

rachel knows

Get this out of my face I’m dead serious

u can tell that all the straights in the crowd didnt get the joke

Rachel Ray is a gay icon now

justalilbobafettish:In High School Musical 2 Sharpay very clearly states that they have “…Iced tea...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 15:05:24 -0400

justalilbobafettish:

In High School Musical 2 Sharpay very clearly states that they have “…Iced tea imported from England, life guards imported from Spain, towels imported from Turkey, and turkey imported from Maine.” In order to import an item, it must come from another country. The series is set in Albequerque, New Mexico, and as New Mexico and Maine are both part of the United States Of America, they cannot have their turkey imported from Maine. As most of the characters are white, and all speak English, this clearly indicates that High School Musical takes place in an alternate universe where a second Civil War has split the nation and New Mexico is no longer part of the Union, based on the fact that we never see the characters celebrate the Fourth of July. In this essay I will

endangered-justice-seeker: This is literal kidnapping.

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 15:01:37 -0400

endangered-justice-seeker:

This is literal kidnapping.

salembitchtrials: feminists-against-feminism: wylltingtrees: st...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 05:28:28 -0400

salembitchtrials:

feminists-against-feminism:

wylltingtrees:

steve-spaghetti:

renirabbit:

pizzalecki:

pkmnbreederbrianna:

togamijail:

chandra75:

im-sherlocked-in-my-mindpalace:

socially-awkward-supervillian:

Fun fact: Cheetahs only attack prey that runs

jesus that is good to know.

Yup, that’s the point you just stay still and let it do whatever the fuck it wants that doesn’t involved you getting eaten.

REALLY FUN FACT for big cats cheetahs are fucking docile as shit

my grandfather ran a cheetah sanctuary in south africa and he’d just lie with them and sleep among them and they’d rub against him and chirp at him they’re big fucking babies

Another Fun Fact: Cheetahs are incredibly nervous animals. One of the (many) reason’s they’re going extinct is that cheetahs are so sensitive and nervous, some of them are literally too nervous to breed. Others will breed, but stress themselves out so much, they’ll lose their cubs.

So zoos with breeding programs had to figure out how to make cheetahs comfortable enough to first of all, get laid and secondly - not spazz themselves into miscarrying.

So what’d they do?
They gave the cheetah’s their very own Service Dogs!

The dogs make them feel safe, protected and secure!

AJHHHHFDDGHH SO PRECIOUS

this post just got so much better

THIS IS OFFICIALLY MY FAVOURITE POST

God makes cheetas, god kills cheetas, god makes man, man makes dogs in order to live, man gives dog to cheeta in order for them to live, god is dog backwards

Cheetahs are good

Photo

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 05:26:05 -0400

fakehistory:“US President Donald Trump’s Immigration Policy....

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 04:40:21 -0400

fakehistory:

“US President Donald Trump’s Immigration Policy. (2018)”

puyopuyo:i wish i lived in the sims, i could just be like “ooh, shooba wormie!” and eat a...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 04:35:44 -0400

puyopuyo:

i wish i lived in the sims, i could just be like “ooh, shooba wormie!” and eat a sandwich

GREAT post op

stellarvisionary: ficcyshit: s t o p

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 04:35:09 -0400

stellarvisionary:

ficcyshit:

s t o p

leplastiquedick: me when the aliens finally abduct me and put me in one of their zoos

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 04:34:48 -0400

leplastiquedick:

me when the aliens finally abduct me and put me in one of their zoos

ladytedra: “Daughters of Triton” - by Lucas Werneck. Source:...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 04:30:14 -0400

ladytedra:

“Daughters of Triton” - by Lucas Werneck. Source: www.tumblr.com

didiwompus:

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 04:29:38 -0400

didiwompus:

the-absolute-funniest-posts: “I bring word from the swamp...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 04:28:59 -0400

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

“I bring word from the swamp prince, the old pacts shall be honored, muster your forces at first light…”

honeybottledrip: this is the funniest fucking thing i have ever...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 04:28:01 -0400

honeybottledrip:

this is the funniest fucking thing i have ever seen in my life

twotontwentyone: dongboss: dongboss: that one post that’s like “lacroix tastes like if you drank...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 04:25:23 -0400

twotontwentyone:

dongboss:

dongboss:

that one post that’s like “lacroix tastes like if you drank carbonated water and someone shouted a fruit name a room over ” is so funny where is it

THIS ONE

incomparablyme: Most modeling is kind of acting like a ho but...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 04:24:48 -0400

incomparablyme:

Most modeling is kind of acting like a ho but making it fashion.

my favorite part about this is her struggling to put her finger in her mouth

clairvoyantconstellations: Hi my name is Kylo Anakin Darkness Palpatine Jar Jar Ren and I have long...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 04:24:35 -0400

clairvoyantconstellations:

Hi my name is Kylo Anakin Darkness Palpatine Jar Jar Ren and I have long silky black hair (that’s how I got my name) that reaches my mid-neck and dead brown eyes like blackholes where traitorous planets once were and a lot of people tell me I look like Darth Vader (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Poe Dameron but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a Skywalker and I have pale white skin and hate sand. I’m also a knight of ren, and I’m part of an anti-republic military force called the First Order (I’m twenty nine). I’m a darksider (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Dathomir and I get all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing black leather high waisted pants and that was it. I was wearing a black bandage on my scar. I was sitting alone in my room after working out. It was dark in there, and I couldn’t see any light which I was happy about. General Hux stared at me. I put up my middle finger at him.
“Hey Ben!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Rey from Nowhere!
“What’s up, Rey??” I asked.
“Nothing. Can you put a shirt on?” she said shyly, as she started to blush.
But then, I heard Snoke call me and I had to go away.

*Always internally screaming*

Ideal number of teeth?

Photo

breefolk-hates-staff: que-mystery: v171: One time I was playing the sims and I wanted to make me...

zsnes: fruitsoftheweb: 4968 dancing dudes on Stanford...

bball1997: starwarsgraphictee: alexander: mercedesbenzodiazep...

justalilbobafettish:In High School Musical 2 Sharpay very clearly states that they have “…Iced tea...

endangered-justice-seeker: This is literal kidnapping.

salembitchtrials: feminists-against-feminism: wylltingtrees: st...

Photo

fakehistory:“US President Donald Trump’s Immigration Policy....

puyopuyo:i wish i lived in the sims, i could just be like “ooh, shooba wormie!” and eat a...

stellarvisionary: ficcyshit: s t o p

leplastiquedick: me when the aliens finally abduct me and put me in one of their zoos

ladytedra: “Daughters of Triton” - by Lucas Werneck. Source:...

didiwompus:

the-absolute-funniest-posts: “I bring word from the swamp...

honeybottledrip: this is the funniest fucking thing i have ever...

twotontwentyone: dongboss: dongboss: that one post that’s like “lacroix tastes like if you drank...

incomparablyme: Most modeling is kind of acting like a ho but...

clairvoyantconstellations: Hi my name is Kylo Anakin Darkness Palpatine Jar Jar Ren and I have long...

Always internally screaming